3:18 Paul did not say all women should be subject to all men, only that wives should be to their own husbands.
"The exhortation should not be weakened in translation in deference to modern sensibilities (cf. again 1 Cor. 14:34 . . .). But neither should its significance be exaggerated; subjection' means subordination,' not subjugation' . . ."162
This subjection rests on divinely prescribed authority, not on any inherent inferiority in spirituality, intelligence, worth, or anything else. This is "fitting"in that it is consistent with what God ordained at the creation of the human race (Gen. 2:18).
"The thought of this passage moves in the realm of respectfor another's position and place, not in the realm of inferiority."163
Submission is "an attitude that recognizes the rights of authority. His [Paul's] main thought is that the wife is to defer to, that is, be willing to take second place to, her husband."164
3:19 Husbands have two responsibilities toward their wives. First, they must love them rather than treating them as subjects. Loving here involves doing what is best for the one loved, sacrificing self-interests for those of the one loved (cf. John 15:13), and behaving unselfishly (1 Cor. 13). The Greek word translated "love"is agapao, the "all give"type of love, not phileo, the "give and take"type, nor erao, the "all take"type.
Second, husbands must not allow a bitter attitude to develop toward their wives because of the wife's lack of submission or for any other reason. "Embittered"means irritated or cross. This attitude is a specific and all too common manifestation of lack of love.
