Success Lies in the Details
Expansionist Dictator
Topic : Confrontation, Confronting
Confronting to Restore Relationship
The need for honest confronting of issues with genuine caring for people is demonstrated by David Augsburger in his courageous and insightful book, Caring Enough to Confront. He lists how to confront and care at the same time.
Confronting | Caring |
| I feel deeply about the issue at stake | I care about our relationship. |
| I want to clearly express my view | I want to hear your view. |
| I want respect for my view | I want to respect your insights. |
| I want you to trust me with your honest feelings | I trust you to be able to handle my honest feelings. |
| I want you to keep working with me until we’ve reached a new understanding. | I promise to stay with the discussion until we’ve reached an understanding. |
| I want your unpressured, clear, honest view our differences. | I will not trick, pressure, manipulate, or distort the differences between us. |
| I want your caring-confronting response | I give you my loving, honest respect. |
Success Lies in the Details
Don Shula, coach of the Miami Dolphins, was talking to a reporter about a player’s mistake in practice. He said, “We never let an error go unchallenged. Uncorrected errors multiply.”
Then the reporter said, “Isn’t there benefit in overlooking one small flaw?”
Shula said, “What is a small flaw?” I think about that all day long. What is a small flaw? I see that with my children. I’ve let a lot of things slide by because I was too tired. I didn’t want another confrontation. But uncorrected errors do multiply. You’ve got to face them some day. You might as well face them on the spot. If I could do it over again with my children, I’d face the errors on the spot. It’s easier on them and on you. That works in relationships with anyone. If there’s something under the surface, something you sense, you might as well just bring it right out. Face it right then. Success lies in the details. Every job is a self-portrait of the person who did it. Autograph your work with excellence.
Expansionist Dictator
The lesson of Munich was: When it is necessary to confront an expansionist dictator, sooner is better than later. As Douglas MacArthur said, in war all tragedy can be summarized in two words, “too late.” Too late perceiving, too late preparing for danger.
