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Drunk Driver
The Juggler

Topic : Drunkenness

Drunk Driver

The defense attorney for a drunk driver was asking all the right questions. The arresting officer had testified that the defendant, when asked to produce his car registration, had fumbled around endlessly in the glove compartment.

“But it was dark, was it not?” asked the lawyer.

“Yes,” said the policeman.

“Was the glove compartment cluttered?”

“Yes.”

“How long did he fumble around there?”

“Maybe five minutes,” responded the officer.

“Well,” continued the attorney, “do you find it unusual that a man would take his time looking in a dark and cluttered glove compartment for a small piece of paper?”

“Yes,” replied the officer. “He was sitting in my patrol car at the time.”

Dan Rodricks in Baltimore Sunday Sun Magazine, quoted in Reader’s Digest, October 1982

The Juggler

A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. “What are those machetes doing in your car?” asks the cop.

“I juggle them in my act.”

“Oh, yeah?” says the doubtful cop. “Let’s see you do it.” The juggler gets out and starts tossing and catching the knives. Another man driving by slows down to watch.

“Wow,” says the passer-by. “I’m glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they’re giving now!”

Contributed by Natalie Kaplowitz, Reader’s Digest, May, 1994, p. 67



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