David's disobedience to the Mosaic Covenant resulted in a cutting back of his personal blessing and of his effectiveness as an instrument of blessing to Israel. These chapters record this restriction of blessing even though blessing characterized the total course of David's life more than judgment.
These chapters record "family tragedies."212Bathsheba's first-born child by David died, and three other of David's sons did as well because of his sin. Chapter 13 records the death of his first-born. The chapter is chiastic in design focusing on Amnon's rape of Tamar and his change of heart from love (lust) to hate.213
Maacah bore Absalom while David was reigning in Hebron (3:3). He was David's third-born. Amnon, his first-born, was also born in Hebron but by Ahinoam (3:2). Both sons may have been in their late teens or early twenties at this time. Tamar (lit. "Palm Tree,"cf. Song of Sol. 7:7-8) was evidently born in Jerusalem (1 Chron. 3:4-9) so she would have been younger than both of these two brothers. The event described in this chapter probably occurred about 987 B.C.214
The story that unfolds is a case of frustrated teenage lust. Evidently Amnon had no desire to marry Tamar, which he probably could have done with David's consent (cf. Gen. 20:12).215The grisly episode is very contemporary and requires little clarification.
"The dialogue in the story of Amnon and Tamar . . . looks like a conscious allusion to the technique used in the episode of Joseph and Potiphar's wife. Amnon addresses to his half-sister exactly the same words with which Potiphar's wife accosts Joseph--["Come to bed with me!"(Gen. 39:7)]--adding to them only one word, the thematically loaded sister' (2 Sam. 13:11). She responds with an elaborate protestation, like Joseph before her."216
David had violated God's will by "sleeping"(Heb. skb m) with Bathsheba, possibly with her consent. Amnon, however, violated God's will by "laying"(Heb. skb t) Tamar, forcing her against her will (v. 14; cf. 11:4).217
Jonadab may have been trying to secure his own political future with Absalom (vv. 3-5, 32-35).218
Quite clearly Amnon's attraction to Tamar was only selfish infatuation. When he had satisfied himself, he hated her and wanted no more contact with her (v. 15). Contrast Amnon's attitude toward Tamar after the rape with that of pagan Shechem toward Dinah in a similar incident (Gen. 34:2-3). Amnon hated Tamar, but Shechem loved Dinah. Likewise David continued to love Bathsheba after their affair.
Absalom consoled Tamar with a view to taking vengeance for her and gaining his own advantage. He probably saw in this incident an opportunity to bring Amnon down and advance himself as a candidate for the throne. The writer did not mention Chileab, David's second-born son (3:3), in the Court History. Perhaps he had already died. Tamar remained "desolate"(v. 20), a term in Hebrew that means unmarried and childless, which was a living death for a Jewish woman (cf. 20:3).219
David may have taken no action against Amnon because he was the crown prince. Perhaps, too, he realized that people would regard him as a hypocrite for punishing Amnon since he himself had been guilty of a similar crime. Nevertheless Amnon deserved to die (Lev. 20:17).
"The results of David's sin with Bathsheba became evident in his relations with his sons, for how can a father discipline his children when he knows that he has done worse than they? When David's son Amnon rapes Tamar . . . David is very angry (II Sam. 13:21), and yet David takes no action, for he, too, has committed his own sexual offense. The upshot is that Tamar's brother, Absalom, murders Amnon (II Sam. 13:29), but David again does nothing, for he, too, has a murder on his head."220
"David is as clearly unable to control his sons' passions as he is his own."221
"If David had exerted himself as the situation required, he might have prevented that initial estrangement between himself and Absalom which was finally to plunge the nation into civil strife."222
Evidently Joab (David's commander-in-chief and nephew by his half-sister, Zeruiah) concluded that it would be politically better for David and Israel if David brought Absalom back to Jerusalem from Geshur (cf. vv. 7, 13-15). Absalom was, of course, now David's heir to the throne by custom, though Yahweh had designated Solomon to succeed his father. David had a great love for Absalom even though he was a murderer (v. 1; cf. 13:37, 39). David had a large capacity to love; he loved God and many other people greatly.
The story Joab gave the actress from Tekoa (10 miles south of Jerusalem) to tell duplicated David's own problem with Absalom (cf. the story that God had put in Nathan's mouth, 12:1-4). By putting the murderer to death, the woman's hostile relatives would have deprived her of her means of support (v. 7; cf. the story of Cain and Abel, Gen. 4:1-8). By putting Absalom to death, David would have deprived himself of his heir, which Joab evidently perceived Absalom to be. Since David promised not to execute the woman's son (v. 11) it was inconsistent for him to refrain from pardoning Absalom (v. 13). The wise woman urged David to remember the LORD his God, namely, His mercy (v. 11).
"David's reference to the hair' of the woman's son' is both ironic and poignant: The hair of his own son Absalom was not only an index of his handsome appearance (cf. vv. 25-26) but would also contribute to his undoing (cf. 18:9-15)."229
The woman's references to "the people of God"(i.e., Israel, v. 13; cf. vv. 14-15, 17) point to popular support for Absalom and a common desire that David would pardon him and allow him to return to Jerusalem.
David had personally experienced God's mercy and had escaped death for his adultery and murder (12:13). The woman appealed to David to deal with Absalom as God had dealt with him or the nation would suffer (v. 14). Verse 14 is a key verse in this chapter. The wise actress reminded David that God does not take away life, that is He does not delight in punishing people. Rather He plans ways by which guilty people can enjoy reconciliation with Himself. The Cross is the greatest historical proof of this truth. Judgment is God's "strange"work; mercy is what He delights to display. Thus David should be godly and make a way to show mercy to Absalom rather than punishing him with death.
David knew that Joab wanted him to pardon Absalom. He sensed that the woman's arguments had come from him (vv. 18-19). Joab had written the script for the little skit that she had performed (vv. 19-20).
"Ironically, Joab's demise begins at precisely the point where another woman (Bathsheba) is sent to the king by a thoroughly self-interested [?] statesman (Nathan) in order to foil the succession of the next in line after Absalom (Adonijah) and so to secure the crown for Solomon (1 Ki 1.11-31)."230
Joab's masquerade proved effective. David agreed to allow Absalom to return to Jerusalem (v. 21). However even though he did not execute him, neither did David restore Absalom to fellowship with himself (v. 24). His forgiveness was official but not personal. This led to more trouble.
Verses 25-27 give information about Absalom that helps us understand why he was able to win the hearts of the people. He was not only handsome but also a family man.
"A strong growth of hair was a sign of great manly power . . ."231
"What Absalom proudly considers his finest attribute will prove to be the vehicle of his ultimate downfall (cf. 18:9-15)."232
Two hundred shekels (v. 26) equal five pounds in weight. Absalom was attractive physically but not correspondingly attractive to God spiritually because he put his own ambitions before God's plans. In these respects he was similar to Saul.
Absalom then lived in Jerusalem for two years, about 982-980 B.C. (v. 28; cf. 13:38). During these years he resented David's treatment of him. He regarded himself as a prisoner in Jerusalem. He was willing to suffer death for his murder of Amnon or to receive a true pardon, but the present compromise was unbearable (v. 32). When Absalom pressed for a personal reconciliation with his father, David finally conceded (v. 33), which David should have done at least two years earlier.
I believe David handled Absalom as he did partly because David's conscience bothered him; he himself had sinned greatly. This seems clear from 14:1-20. David's approach offended Absalom and contributed to his desire to seize the throne from his father.
The entire chapter is the story of a father and king caught between his responsibilities to be both just and merciful. Every parent and leader has found himself or herself in David's position. God Himself had to find a solution to this dual responsibility. The chapter deals with how to discipline. David's solution was to compromise. He tried to punish Absalom by keeping him in exile but not executing him. Then he allowed him to return to Jerusalem but not to have fellowship with himself. Both of these compromises failed and only made the relationship worse. God's solution is to be merciful, to forgive and welcome back warmly and quickly (cf. 12:13; Matt. 6:12, 14-15; Luke 1511-24). Perhaps David was reluctant to pardon Absalom because his son did not repent, at least the text says nothing about his doing so. Nevertheless David's lack of true forgiveness bred a bitter attitude in Absalom that resulted in his organizing a coupto overthrow his father (ch. 15). The law demands justice, but "mercy triumphs over justice"(James 2:13). A police officer who pulls you over for speeding can give you justice (a citation) or mercy (a warning). A murderer on death row can receive justice (execution) or mercy (a governor's pardon). The offender's attitude plays a part in the decision in every case, but ultimately the choice belongs to the person in power. A godly person will plan ways so the estranged may come back into fellowship (v. 14).
