Maacah bore Absalom while David was reigning in Hebron (3:3). He was David's third-born. Amnon, his first-born, was also born in Hebron but by Ahinoam (3:2). Both sons may have been in their late teens or early twenties at this time. Tamar (lit. "Palm Tree,"cf. Song of Sol. 7:7-8) was evidently born in Jerusalem (1 Chron. 3:4-9) so she would have been younger than both of these two brothers. The event described in this chapter probably occurred about 987 B.C.214
The story that unfolds is a case of frustrated teenage lust. Evidently Amnon had no desire to marry Tamar, which he probably could have done with David's consent (cf. Gen. 20:12).215The grisly episode is very contemporary and requires little clarification.
"The dialogue in the story of Amnon and Tamar . . . looks like a conscious allusion to the technique used in the episode of Joseph and Potiphar's wife. Amnon addresses to his half-sister exactly the same words with which Potiphar's wife accosts Joseph--["Come to bed with me!"(Gen. 39:7)]--adding to them only one word, the thematically loaded sister' (2 Sam. 13:11). She responds with an elaborate protestation, like Joseph before her."216
David had violated God's will by "sleeping"(Heb. skb m) with Bathsheba, possibly with her consent. Amnon, however, violated God's will by "laying"(Heb. skb t) Tamar, forcing her against her will (v. 14; cf. 11:4).217
Jonadab may have been trying to secure his own political future with Absalom (vv. 3-5, 32-35).218
Quite clearly Amnon's attraction to Tamar was only selfish infatuation. When he had satisfied himself, he hated her and wanted no more contact with her (v. 15). Contrast Amnon's attitude toward Tamar after the rape with that of pagan Shechem toward Dinah in a similar incident (Gen. 34:2-3). Amnon hated Tamar, but Shechem loved Dinah. Likewise David continued to love Bathsheba after their affair.
Absalom consoled Tamar with a view to taking vengeance for her and gaining his own advantage. He probably saw in this incident an opportunity to bring Amnon down and advance himself as a candidate for the throne. The writer did not mention Chileab, David's second-born son (3:3), in the Court History. Perhaps he had already died. Tamar remained "desolate"(v. 20), a term in Hebrew that means unmarried and childless, which was a living death for a Jewish woman (cf. 20:3).219
David may have taken no action against Amnon because he was the crown prince. Perhaps, too, he realized that people would regard him as a hypocrite for punishing Amnon since he himself had been guilty of a similar crime. Nevertheless Amnon deserved to die (Lev. 20:17).
"The results of David's sin with Bathsheba became evident in his relations with his sons, for how can a father discipline his children when he knows that he has done worse than they? When David's son Amnon rapes Tamar . . . David is very angry (II Sam. 13:21), and yet David takes no action, for he, too, has committed his own sexual offense. The upshot is that Tamar's brother, Absalom, murders Amnon (II Sam. 13:29), but David again does nothing, for he, too, has a murder on his head."220
"David is as clearly unable to control his sons' passions as he is his own."221
"If David had exerted himself as the situation required, he might have prevented that initial estrangement between himself and Absalom which was finally to plunge the nation into civil strife."222
