Joab's masquerade proved effective. David agreed to allow Absalom to return to Jerusalem (v. 21). However even though he did not execute him, neither did David restore Absalom to fellowship with himself (v. 24). His forgiveness was official but not personal. This led to more trouble.
Verses 25-27 give information about Absalom that helps us understand why he was able to win the hearts of the people. He was not only handsome but also a family man.
"A strong growth of hair was a sign of great manly power . . ."231
"What Absalom proudly considers his finest attribute will prove to be the vehicle of his ultimate downfall (cf. 18:9-15)."232
Two hundred shekels (v. 26) equal five pounds in weight. Absalom was attractive physically but not correspondingly attractive to God spiritually because he put his own ambitions before God's plans. In these respects he was similar to Saul.
Absalom then lived in Jerusalem for two years, about 982-980 B.C. (v. 28; cf. 13:38). During these years he resented David's treatment of him. He regarded himself as a prisoner in Jerusalem. He was willing to suffer death for his murder of Amnon or to receive a true pardon, but the present compromise was unbearable (v. 32). When Absalom pressed for a personal reconciliation with his father, David finally conceded (v. 33), which David should have done at least two years earlier.
I believe David handled Absalom as he did partly because David's conscience bothered him; he himself had sinned greatly. This seems clear from 14:1-20. David's approach offended Absalom and contributed to his desire to seize the throne from his father.
The entire chapter is the story of a father and king caught between his responsibilities to be both just and merciful. Every parent and leader has found himself or herself in David's position. God Himself had to find a solution to this dual responsibility. The chapter deals with how to discipline. David's solution was to compromise. He tried to punish Absalom by keeping him in exile but not executing him. Then he allowed him to return to Jerusalem but not to have fellowship with himself. Both of these compromises failed and only made the relationship worse. God's solution is to be merciful, to forgive and welcome back warmly and quickly (cf. 12:13; Matt. 6:12, 14-15; Luke 1511-24). Perhaps David was reluctant to pardon Absalom because his son did not repent, at least the text says nothing about his doing so. Nevertheless David's lack of true forgiveness bred a bitter attitude in Absalom that resulted in his organizing a coupto overthrow his father (ch. 15). The law demands justice, but "mercy triumphs over justice"(James 2:13). A police officer who pulls you over for speeding can give you justice (a citation) or mercy (a warning). A murderer on death row can receive justice (execution) or mercy (a governor's pardon). The offender's attitude plays a part in the decision in every case, but ultimately the choice belongs to the person in power. A godly person will plan ways so the estranged may come back into fellowship (v. 14).
