Paul introduced a new thought with the repetition of "Therefore"and "walk"for the fifth time. We can walk (live) wisely by letting the Holy Spirit control our lives.
"For Paul, the Christian faith was not an abstract exercise in theological discourse. Instead it called for a different way to relate to others."126
Paul began this section with a basic admonition (vv. 15-21). Then he applied this instruction to various groups of Christians (5:22-6:9).
5:15 The word order and usage in the Greek text suggest that "careful"modifies "walk"rather than "be."We could translate the clause "See to it that you walk (live) carefully."Careful living is essential to being wise (skillful) and to pleasing the Lord (v. 10). The wise person is one who views and sees things the way God does.
5:16 We live wisely when we use every opportunity to please and glorify the Lord. Every day and every hour provide opportunities, and we should seize them for these purposes. This is important because we live in days that evil influences and evil individuals dominate.
5:17 The unwise (v. 15) simply lack wisdom, but the foolish (v. 17) behave contrary to what they know to be right. To be wise we must comprehend intellectually (Gr. syniete, understand) what God's will is. Only after we do that can we please God (v. 10). The Lord's will should be the Christian's primary blueprint since He is the Head of the body. God's will includes allowing Him to control (fill) us, being thankful always, and being subject to one another, as the following verses clarify.
5:18 Specifically we should not let wine control us but God's Holy Spirit. Both forces are internal. "Be filled"is a passive command. It amounts to letting the Holy Spirit who indwells us control us completely. The wine that fills a person controls every area of his life as long as that person consumes it. Drunkenness results in incorrigible behavior. Likewise the believer who allows the Spirit to influence and direct his thinking and behavior will experience His control as long as he maintains that relationship to the Spirit (cf. Luke 1:15; Acts 2:12-21). Another translation of the command is, "Be being kept filled by the Spirit."127
"The baptism of the Spirit means that I belong to Christ's body. The filling of the Spirit means that my body belongs to Christ."128
5:19 Paul referred to four of the many results of Spirit filling. He set them forth as participles, but they virtually amount to imperatives in their force. All four deal with praise, and all are public rather than private activities. "Psalms"refers to the Old Testament psalms that the Christians as well as the Jews used in their worship. Hymns were songs that eulogized some person or god in Greek culture and the true God in Christian worship (v. 14). Spiritual songs is a general term that probably covers all other kinds of vocal praise. When God controls us, we are joyful.
In addition to communicating with one another using the means already described, Christians should also use these means to communicate with the Lord. Praise should spring from the heart, not just the lips. "Singing"refers to vocal praise, and "making melody with your heart"implies inaudible praise.
5:20 Third, we should thank God the Father for all things (cf. Col. 3:17; 1 Thess. 5:18). Christians can engage in thanksgiving even when they are not offering praise corporately. Praying in the name of Jesus Christ means praying because of His merits and work and in harmony with His will (cf. John 14:13-14; 15:16; 16:23-24; 1 John 5:14-15). It is possible to be thankful in all things when we recognize that God is at work in our lives for His glory and our good (Rom. 8:28). When God controls us, we are thankful.
5:21 The fourth result of fullness with (control by) the Spirit is willingness to submit to other people, specifically believers. The opposite would be dominating others and exalting oneself over them. This attitude is only reasonable and carries over from reverence for (fear of) Christ. When God controls us, we have submissive (supportive) spirits.
Having explained the basic admonition to be filled with the Spirit (vv. 15-21) Paul next applied the implication of this exhortation to various groups of Christians. He addressed six groups: wives and husbands (5:22-33), children and parents (6:1-4), and slaves and masters (6:5-9). In each of the three pairings, the first partner is responsible to be submissive or obedient (5:22; 6:1, 5). However the second partner is also to show a submissive spirit. All are to relate to one another as unto the Lord.
When God controls us, we experience harmony in the home and in the workplace.
"After centuries of Christian teaching, we scarcely appreciate the revolutionary nature of Paul's views on family life set forth in this passage. Among the Jews of his day, as also among the Romans and the Greeks, women were seen as secondary citizens with few or no rights. The pious male Jew daily said a prayer in which he thanked God for not making him a woman. And he could divorce his wife by simply writing a bill of divorcement' (which must include the provision that she was then free to marry whomever she wanted). The wife had no such right."129
5:22 Paul addressed wives first. Christian wives are to be subject (v. 21) to their own husbands as an expression of their submission to the Lord Jesus. Paul did not say they were to be subject to their own husbands in proportion as they are submissive to the Lord. In submitting to her husband, the wife is obeying the Lord who has commanded her to do so. In this section Paul was speaking of relationships in marriage as the context clarifies (vv. 22-33). He was not saying all women are to be subject to all men, nor was he saying that women are inferior to men (cf. 1 Pet. 3:7).
People often misunderstand submission. It does not indicate inferiority or involve losing one's identity and becoming a non-person. Some women fear that submission will lead to abuse and or a feeling of being used. Submission does not mean blind obedience or passivity. It means giving oneself up to someone else.
We live in an ordered universe in which there is authority and submission to authority everywhere (cf. Rom. 13:1). Authority and submission relationships are therefore natural and necessary to maintain order. God has authority over man (James 4:5). Man has authority over nature (Gen. 1:28). Husbands have authority over their wives (Eph. 5:22). Parents have authority over their children (Eph. 6:1). Governors have authority over those they govern (1 Pet. 2:13-14). Employers have authority over their employees (1 Pet. 2:18). Spiritual leaders have authority over those they lead spiritually (1 Pet. 5:2).
Submission means organizing voluntarily to fill out a pattern that constitutes a complete whole. The word "support"is a good synonym for the biblical concept of "submit."A wife submits to her husband when she voluntarily organizes herself so she can complete her husband. A good example of this is her cooperating with him when they run a three-legged race. They have to work together to succeed. Submission is essential to achieve oneness in marriage.130
Submission involves four responsibilities. It begins with an attitude of entrusting oneself to God. The focus of life must be on Jesus Christ. The ability to submit comes from Him (cf. 1 Pet. 2:24). He is similar to the cables that enable a suspension bridge to carry out its purpose. Second, submission requires respectful behavior (cf. 1 Pet. 3:1-2). This rules out nagging. Nagging is similar to having a duck nibble you to death. Third, submission means developing a godly character (cf. 1 Pet. 3:3-5). Fourth, submission involves doing what is right (cf. 1 Pet. 3:6). Submission should not involve participating in conduct that is contrary to Scripture. Every Christian's primary responsibility is to do God's will.
5:23 The reason for the wife's willing submission is that God has placed wives in a position of authority under their husbands (cf. 1 Cor. 11:12). Likewise He has chosen to place Jesus Christ in authority over the church. Jesus Christ is the Savior of the church and similarly the husband is the deliverer of his wife. The husband's headship involves loving, serving, caring for, and leading his wife. These are all things that Jesus Christ does for the church.
"To speak in terms of functional equality for husband and wife erroneously removes the complementary quality of the relationship and invalidates the comparison to Christ and the church, who are not functionally equal."131
Leadership should involve a recognition that God has placed the husband in a position of responsibility. The husband occupies his role by divine placement. Assuming this role does not mean that the husband must execute all of his responsibilities perfectly since that would be impossible. It does mean that he is accountable to God for his wife and children. Even though Eve ate the fruit first, God approached Adam first to question him about what he and Eve had done (Gen. 3:9). The husband's leadership makes the wife's submission reasonable. It requires taking the initiative, integrity, and serving the wife (i.e., lightening the load of those who follow; cf. Matt. 11:28-30; Mark 10:42-45). Leadership also involves managing the home, not dominating it. A good manager creates an environment in which each person can achieve his or her maximum potential. A responsible father also keeps his children under control (1 Tim. 3:4). Leading is one of the husband's primary responsibilities in marriage.132
"Those who are busy undermining the chastity of wedlock to-day are the worst enemies of the commonweal [the public good]. Its inviolability is not a question to be settled on grounds of expediency. The corner-stone of society is at stake in the matter."133
5:24 This verse continues the comparison. Submission is the proper response to sovereignly designated authority in the church-Christ relationship and in the wife-husband relationship. "In everything"means in everything within the wife-husband relationship, the context within which the apostle was speaking. Paul probably did not mean in absolutely everything since the wife has a higher responsibility to obey the Lord. When she encounters conflicting authorities, the Lord, through His Word, telling her to do one thing and her husband telling her to do a contradictory thing, she should obey the Lord.134
"The Scripture is the guide for faith and life in the Christian home. A husband's authority in the home is derivative: as a servant of God, his authority comes from God. He is, therefore, subject to Scripture in all that he does, and has no freedom to guide his family in ways which contradict it. Should he clearly do so, individual members must follow God before man. The example of Sapphira's willing sin and personal accountability makes this clear (Acts 5:9)."135
What about a Christian wife whose unsaved husband beats or otherwise abuses her? Is she to be submissive to him in everything? Peter addressed such a situation in 1 Peter 3:1-3 and commanded wives in those situations to "be submissive."He did not add "in everything."I would counsel such a woman to maintain a submissive attitude but to take measures to protect herself from danger. In commanding submission neither Paul nor Peter was saying wives must submit to situations in which they are in danger. They wanted them to submit to their husbands as God's appointed head over them.
"The final addition in every thingmight seem more than can be accepted as God's purpose by this present generation with its stress on emancipation of womanhood, and the place of woman outside the home in every sphere of life that man occupies. Has not a woman equal rights with a man to self-determination? May not a married woman make herself a career as well as her husband? The answer that the New Testament would give is that she may do so, provided that it does not mean the sacrifice of the divine pattern for home life, for family relationships and for the whole Christian community. She may fulfill any function and any responsibility in society, but if she has accepted before God the responsibility of marriage and of a family these must be her first concern, and this is expressed here in terms of her relationship to her husband as head of the home."136
5:25 In the Greco-Roman world in which Paul lived, people recognized that wives had responsibilities to their husbands but not vice versa.137Paul summarized the wife's duty as submission and the husband's duty as love. The word he used for love (agapate) means much more than sexual passion (eros) or even family affection (philia). It means seeking the highest good for another person (cf. 2:4). Husbands are to love their wives in the same way that Christ loved the church. The extent to which He went for her welfare was giving Himself up in death to provide salvation for her (cf. v. 2; Phil. 2:5-11). He gave up His rights yet maintained His responsibilities.
Love requires an attitude of unconditional acceptance of an imperfect person not based on her performance but on her intrinsic worth as God's gift to her husband. The verbalization of this acceptance is part of loving. Love also requires sacrificial action. It involves doing something, specifically placing the wife's needs before his own, such as doing something for her that she hates to do. It also involves self-denial, such as giving up something he would enjoy doing to do something she would like to do. This kind of love arises out of a commitment of the will, not just passing feelings.
5:26 The purpose Jesus Christ had in mind when He sacrificed Himself for His bride, the church, was to set her apart (sanctify, make her holy) for Himself as His own forever (cf. Heb. 2:11; 10:10, 14; 13:12). Logically cleansing comes before setting apart, but in reality these things occur simultaneously when a person trusts in Christ. The cleansing here is spiritual rather than physical. The Word of God cleanses us in the sense that when we believe the gospel it washes our sins away as water washes dirt away (cf. Titus 3:5; 1 Cor. 6:11).
5:27 What was Jesus Christ's ultimate purpose in giving Himself for the church (v. 25)? It was to present her to Himself in all her glory finally, namely without any blemishes, effects of sin (wrinkles), or anything that would diminish her glory. Positively God will eventually present the church to His Son as exclusively His and spotless (cf. 1:4). This will happen at the Rapture when all Christians will experience full sanctification (i.e., glorification) and will join our Lord forever (cf. 2 Cor. 11:2).
"Spots are caused by defilement on the outside, while wrinkles are caused by decay on the inside."138
5:28 This verse and the following two verses apply the truth just stated in verses 25-27. Since in marriage two people become one flesh (Gen. 2:24), in a figurative sense a man's wife becomes part of his own body. Consequently the husband should love and treat her as he does his own body (cf. Lev. 19:18). When he does, he is in this sense loving his own body.
5:29-30 The truth that no normal person hates his own body is clear because everyone maintains his physical body. Christ also feeds and cares for His body, the church. The implication is that husbands should likewise care for their wives since the wife is a "member"of his body.
Nourishing involves providing security. Cherishing involves protecting by watching out for and caring for. Here are some basic needs that most wives feel. They need to feel wanted, to have their husbands acknowledge their equality, to feel secure, and to feel fulfilled. They also need to enjoy sex without feeling like an object, to bear and love children with their husbands, and to enjoy companionship with their husbands.
5:31 Adam acknowledged that Eve was part of himself: "bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh"(Gen. 2:23). When a man and a woman unite in marriage, they become part of one another in as close a unity as the one that existed before God separated Eve physically from Adam. The Scriptures regard this tie as more fundamental than any other tie that unites any other two human beings including parent and child.139It is because of this high view of marriage that Christianity has traditionally taken a strong stand for the indissolubility of the marriage bond and against polygamy, adultery, and divorce.
"This statement from the creation story is the most profound and fundamental statement in the whole of Scripture concerning God's plan for marriage."140
5:32 The mystery in view is the truth previously hidden but now brought to light. The relationship that exists between a husband and his wife is the same as the one that exists between Christ and His church. The church has as close a tie to Christ spiritually as a wife has to her husband spiritually. Paul revealed that Genesis 2:24 contains a more profound truth than people previously realized. The mystery is great because it has far-reaching implications.
One of the purposes of marriage is to model Jesus Christ's relationship with the church. He leads, loves, and serves the church. The church reverently submits and is subject to Him. When husbands and wives fulfill these responsibilities to one another, their marriage models the relationship between Christ and His bride.
5:33 Even if Paul's original readers did not grasp the significance of Christ's intimate relationship to the church fully, every individual Christian husband was responsible to love his wife as himself. Likewise every Christian wife should respect (phobetai, fear, reverence) her husband (vv. 21-22). Paul did not instruct wives to love their husbands because submission is the primary expression of love that God requires. If the husband loves his wife as Christ loved the church, the wife will love her husband.
Respecting means voluntarily lifting up another person for special consideration, treatment, and obedience. It involves having consideration for his responsibilities and needs and praying for him. Words of encouragement that have a positive focus and build him up show respect for a husband as does doing things that please him. Probably most men have a poor self-image.141A man must have the respect of his wife to feel successful as a man.
The next basic human relationship that needs affecting by the filling of the Spirit (5:15-21) is that of children and parents.
6:1 Children express their submission by obeying their parents (plural). "In the Lord"modifies "obey,"not "parents."Children should not obey their parents if their parents tell them to disobey the Lord.142Obedience is right in the sense that it is in harmony with God's will for children (cf. Col. 3:20). Children should obey their parents as long as they are children living under their parents' authority. When a child becomes an adult, he or she no longer has to obey parents but should continue to honor them.143
6:2 Even though as Christians we are no longer under the Mosaic Law (Rom. 7:6; 10:4; et. al.), Paul quoted the fifth commandment (Exod. 20:12; Deut. 5:16) to stress the importance of children obeying their parents. Honoring (v. 2) is a larger concept than obeying (v. 1). It involves a proper attitude as well as appropriate behavior.144
The first commandment in the Decalogue with a promise was really the second commandment. Evidently Paul meant that for children the fifth was the primary commandment, and it contained a promise.
6:3 When he restated the promise connected with obeying the fifth commandment, Paul changed it. God promised obedient Jewish children long life in the Promised Land (Exod. 20:12; Deut. 5:16). Since He has not promised Christians a particular piece of land Paul stated the more general promise that lay behind the specific promise, namely longer physical life on earth. Normally children who obey their parents avoid the perils that would shorten their lives.
Paul addressed fathers because they are God's ordained family heads on whom the primary responsibility for child training rests. When a father is absent in a family, the mother usually assumes this responsibility. In Greco-Roman society the father's authority over his children was absolute.
"This idea would have been revolutionary in its day; in the first-century Roman Empire, fathers could do pretty much what they liked in their families. They could even sentence family members to death . . ."145
Christianity introduced consideration for the feelings of the children into parental responsibility.
Essentially this command forbids making unreasonable demands on children in the everyday course of family life. "Provoke"(Gr. parorgizete) means to exasperate (cf. Rom. 10:19; Col. 3:21). This kind of provocation can enflame the child's anger unnecessarily (cf. 4:31). Studies indicate that the factor that causes rage in teenagers more than any other is having to face life without adequate direction from their parents. Instead fathers should provide for the physical and spiritual needs of their children (cf. 5:29). "Discipline"or "training"refers to directing and correcting the child (cf. 2 Tim. 3:16; Heb. 12:8). "Instruction"denotes correction by word of mouth including advice and encouragement (cf. 1 Cor. 10:11; Titus 3:10). Fathers are to do all this with the Lord at the center of the relationship and training.
"Responsible authority does not wield power; it serves with it."146
". . . too many parents nowadays foster the latent mischief by a policy of laissez faire, pampering their pert urchins like pet monkeys whose escapades furnish a fund of amusement as irresponsible freaks of no serious import. Such unbridled young scamps, for lack of correction, develop too often into headstrong, peevish, self-seeking characters, menaces to the community where they dwell, and the blame rests with their supine and duty-shirking seniors."147
The third group that Paul addressed was slaves and masters (cf. 1 Cor. 7:17-24). Most slaves served in the home in Paul's day so this section fits in well with what precedes about other household relationships. Some students of Roman history have estimated that about one-third of the population in the Roman Empire was slaves, approximately 60 million individuals.148Many of these people were Christians. Most ancient Greeks and Romans regarded slaves as little more than living tools.
"Aristotle lays it down that there can never be friendship between master and slave, for master and slave have nothing in common; for a slave is a living tool, just as a tool is an inanimate slave.' A slave was nothing better, and had no more rights, than a tool. Varro, writing on agriculture, divided agricultural instruments into three classes--the articulate, the inarticulate and the mute. The articulate comprises the slaves; the inarticulate the cattle; and the mute the vehicles. The slave is no better than a beast who happens to be able to talk. Cato gives advice to a man taking over a farm. He must go over it and throw out everything that is past its work; and old slaves too must be thrown out on the scrap heap to starve. When a slave is ill it is sheer extravagance to issue him with normal rations. The old and sick slave is only a broken and inefficient tool."149
6:5 Paul contrasted masters according to the flesh with the Master of the human spirit, namely Jesus Christ. Christian slaves owed their earthly masters obedience. Obedience demonstrated their submission to Christ (cf. 5:22).
Seven qualifications describe proper obedience. Service was to be respectful (with fear, reverence; cf. 5:33). Second, it was to be with "trembling"or "fear,"that is, with care that the slave not make a mistake. Third, it was to be sincere, without hypocrisy or duplicity. Fourth, service should be as to the Lord.
6:6 Fifth, service was to be consistent, whether the master was watching or not. Paul may have also had in mind doing work that the human master could not check on. Sixth, it needed to arise from proper motives, not to please men only but, what is more important, to please the Lord.
6:7 Seventh, the slave should have an attitude of good will toward his or her master. He should serve for the master's welfare. Such good will "does not wait to be compelled."150This kind of service is to be done as to the Lord, not as if to the Lord. The Lord is the One whom the slave really serves as well as the earthly master.
6:8 Paul reminded faithful slaves that they would receive a reward from Jesus Christ in the future whether their masters on earth acknowledged their good service or not. This reward would come at the judgment seat of Christ if not earlier.
"Like Jesus himself, Paul does not shrink from referring to rewards."151
This principle applies to all who serve the Lord whether slave or free.
Masters should seek to please the Lord in their dealings with their slaves even as slaves should try to please Christ as they serve their masters. They should not threaten because our heavenly Master does not threaten us. Threatening means warning that punishment will come immediately (cf. Acts 4:17; 29; 9:1). The opposite of threatening is gracious, just, and fair treatment (cf. Col. 4:1; James 5:4). Masters should also remember that their Master in heaven will not show favoritism to them because of their social or economic status. He will evaluate them by the same standard that they have used to judge others (Matt. 7:1-5).
"This is a gentle reminder that earthly rank has no relevance in heaven."152
As we review this section of duties, we need to remind ourselves that only a Spirit-filled believer will be able to fulfill them (5:15-20). Essentially what Paul urged was humility that expresses itself in submissiveness to others rather than arrogant self-assertiveness.
So ends Paul's commands concerning how the Christian is to walk (live; 4:1-6:9): in unity, in holiness, in love, in light, and in wisdom.
