Paul addressed fathers because they are God's ordained family heads on whom the primary responsibility for child training rests. When a father is absent in a family, the mother usually assumes this responsibility. In Greco-Roman society the father's authority over his children was absolute.
"This idea would have been revolutionary in its day; in the first-century Roman Empire, fathers could do pretty much what they liked in their families. They could even sentence family members to death . . ."145
Christianity introduced consideration for the feelings of the children into parental responsibility.
Essentially this command forbids making unreasonable demands on children in the everyday course of family life. "Provoke"(Gr. parorgizete) means to exasperate (cf. Rom. 10:19; Col. 3:21). This kind of provocation can enflame the child's anger unnecessarily (cf. 4:31). Studies indicate that the factor that causes rage in teenagers more than any other is having to face life without adequate direction from their parents. Instead fathers should provide for the physical and spiritual needs of their children (cf. 5:29). "Discipline"or "training"refers to directing and correcting the child (cf. 2 Tim. 3:16; Heb. 12:8). "Instruction"denotes correction by word of mouth including advice and encouragement (cf. 1 Cor. 10:11; Titus 3:10). Fathers are to do all this with the Lord at the center of the relationship and training.
"Responsible authority does not wield power; it serves with it."146
". . . too many parents nowadays foster the latent mischief by a policy of laissez faire, pampering their pert urchins like pet monkeys whose escapades furnish a fund of amusement as irresponsible freaks of no serious import. Such unbridled young scamps, for lack of correction, develop too often into headstrong, peevish, self-seeking characters, menaces to the community where they dwell, and the blame rests with their supine and duty-shirking seniors."147
