Paul next set forth certain principles to guide his readers in their most important interpersonal relationships. He did this to enable them to understand what behavior is consistent with union with Christ in these relationships. This is one of several "house-rule"lists in the New Testament (cf. Eph. 5:22-6:9; 1 Tim. 2:8-15; 6:1-2; Titus 2:1-10; 1 Pet. 2:18-3:7).160
". . . the earliest churches were all house churches' (see on 4:15), so that the model of the well-run household provided precedent for the well-run church . . ."161
The apostle grouped six classes of people in three pairs in the following verses. In each pair he first addressed the subordinate member and then the one in authority. Bear in mind that Paul was speaking to people who are in Christ in each case.
3:18 Paul did not say all women should be subject to all men, only that wives should be to their own husbands.
"The exhortation should not be weakened in translation in deference to modern sensibilities (cf. again 1 Cor. 14:34 . . .). But neither should its significance be exaggerated; subjection' means subordination,' not subjugation' . . ."162
This subjection rests on divinely prescribed authority, not on any inherent inferiority in spirituality, intelligence, worth, or anything else. This is "fitting"in that it is consistent with what God ordained at the creation of the human race (Gen. 2:18).
"The thought of this passage moves in the realm of respectfor another's position and place, not in the realm of inferiority."163
Submission is "an attitude that recognizes the rights of authority. His [Paul's] main thought is that the wife is to defer to, that is, be willing to take second place to, her husband."164
3:19 Husbands have two responsibilities toward their wives. First, they must love them rather than treating them as subjects. Loving here involves doing what is best for the one loved, sacrificing self-interests for those of the one loved (cf. John 15:13), and behaving unselfishly (1 Cor. 13). The Greek word translated "love"is agapao, the "all give"type of love, not phileo, the "give and take"type, nor erao, the "all take"type.
Second, husbands must not allow a bitter attitude to develop toward their wives because of the wife's lack of submission or for any other reason. "Embittered"means irritated or cross. This attitude is a specific and all too common manifestation of lack of love.
3:20 Children are to obey (hypakoute) both parents. The Greek word for obey implies a readiness to listen to and carry out parental instructions. The Greek word for children (tekna) means youths in contrast to babes and toddlers. "All things"is the general principle and would cover 99% of the cases involved in a Christian home. However every Christian is primarily responsible to the Lord, of course. Consequently if the parent required the child to disobey God, the child should obey God rather than man (Acts 4:19; 5:29; Eph. 6:1). The reason children should please their parents by obeying them is that this behavior pleases the Lord (cf. Exod. 20:12).
3:21 While children must obey both parents, the father (pateron) has the primary responsibility for his children as head of the household. For this reason Paul addressed the fathers here. What is in view here is the habitual provoking of children by insensitive parents. Some provocation is necessary in disciplining, but ceaseless irritation causes children to become sullen, listless, and discouraged.
"Paul may have had in mind the regimen of don'ts' that loomed so large in the Colossian heresy."165
3:22 Paul probably made this section longer than the preceding two because he sent this epistle to Colosse with the Epistle to Philemon. Onesimus, Philemon's run-away slave, carried them.166Moreover there may well have been more slaves in the Colossian church than masters (cf. 1 Cor. 1:26). The friction inherent in this situation probably called for extended comments on master-slave relationships in the body of Christ and in this church particularly. Note also that Paul did not argue for the abolition of slavery but urged Christians to behave as Christians within that social structure.
". . . those who live in modern social democracies, in which interest groups can hope to exert political pressure by intensive lobbying, should remember that in the cities of Paul's day the great bulk of Christians would have had no possibility whatsoever of exerting any political pressure for any particular policy or reform. In such circumstances a pragmatic quietism was the most effective means of gaining room enough to develop the quality of personal relationships which would establish and build up the microcosms (churches) of transformed communities."167
Paul's view was this. It is more important for Christians to carry out our mission as Christians in whatever social conditions we find themselves than it is for us to make changing those conditions our primary concern (cf. Matt. 28:19-20; 1 Cor. 7:20-22).168"On earth"means in your physical relationship. In spiritual matters the slave and his master were brothers in Christ.
Slaves in the Roman Empire were similar to domestic servants in Victorian Britain.169
3:23-25 Slaves should do their work primarily for the Lord. This view of work transforms a worker's attitudes and performance. Even the most servile work thereby becomes a ministry and an act of worship. The Lord will reward such service with an inheritance (1 Cor. 4:5; Rev. 22:12). Imagine a slave receiving an inheritance!
"The inheritance is a reward which is received as wages' for work done. Nothing could be plainer. The context is speaking of the return a man should receive because of his work, as in an employer-employee relationship. The inheritance is received as a result of work; it does not come as a gift. The Greek antapodosismeans repayment or reward. The verb antapodidominever means to receive as a gift; it is always used in the New Testament of a repayment due to an obligation."170
The New Testament revelation concerning the inheritance that believers can merit by faithful perseverance in the faith and good works is extensive.171Some passages indicate that it involves participation in the wedding banquet at the beginning of the messianic kingdom (e.g., Matt. 25; et al.). Others present it as involving a specially honorable resurrection (Luke 20:35; Phil. 3:10-14). Still other passages speak of it as reigning with Christ (Matt. 19:27-28; Luke 19:17-19; 22:28-30; Rom. 8:17-21) or as treasure in heaven (Matt. 6:19-21, 29; 19:21; Luke 12:32-33; 1 Tim. 6:17-19). It also involves receiving praise and honor from Jesus Christ and the Father (Matt. 6:1, 5, 16; 25:21; John 12:26; 1 Cor. 4:5; 1 Pet. 1:6-7; 2 Pet. 1:10-11). These honors are sometimes spoken of as crowns (Phil. 4:1; 1 Cor. 9:24-27; 1 Thess. 2:19; 2 Tim. 4:6-8; James 1:12; 1 Pet. 5:1-4; Rev. 2:10; 4:9-10).172
4:1 Masters should remember that they have a Master too. This view should transform how they regard and treat their slaves. Interestingly throughout history wherever Christians have constituted a significant segment of the population and have followed Paul's directions here, the slave system has died. The principles in these verses (3:22-4:1) are, of course, applicable to employer-employee relationships as well.
The fact that the word "Lord"occurs frequently (seven times) in 3:18-4:1 highlights the importance of applying the lordship of Christ in all our interpersonal relationships.
"It should be remembered that, while all Christians are on the same level in the Lord, there are still spheres in which subordination must be recognized. In fact, there are four spheres in which believers live: (a) in Christ; (b) in the household; (c) in the church; (d) in the state. In Christ there is no difference between Jew and Greek, bond and free, or male and female (Gal. 3:28). In the household, while there is intrinsic spiritual equality, there are distinctions. The husband is the head of the wife (Eph. 5:23), and children are to obey both (6:1; cf. Col. 3:20), the Lord being the supreme illustration (Luke 2:51). The slave, too, is to be subject to his master (Titus 2:9; 1 Pet. 2:18). In the church all are subject to the oversight of the elders (1 Thess. 5:12; Heb. 13:7), and to the Lord (Eph. 5:24). In the state even the believers, although God's children and heavenly citizens, are subject to the secular authorities and earthly statutes (Rom. 13:1; Titus 3:1; 1 Pet. 2:13)."173
