3:20 Children are to obey (hypakoute) both parents. The Greek word for obey implies a readiness to listen to and carry out parental instructions. The Greek word for children (tekna) means youths in contrast to babes and toddlers. "All things"is the general principle and would cover 99% of the cases involved in a Christian home. However every Christian is primarily responsible to the Lord, of course. Consequently if the parent required the child to disobey God, the child should obey God rather than man (Acts 4:19; 5:29; Eph. 6:1). The reason children should please their parents by obeying them is that this behavior pleases the Lord (cf. Exod. 20:12).
3:21 While children must obey both parents, the father (pateron) has the primary responsibility for his children as head of the household. For this reason Paul addressed the fathers here. What is in view here is the habitual provoking of children by insensitive parents. Some provocation is necessary in disciplining, but ceaseless irritation causes children to become sullen, listless, and discouraged.
"Paul may have had in mind the regimen of don'ts' that loomed so large in the Colossian heresy."165
