Paul turned to the subject of interpersonal relationships to help his son in the faith get along with people effectively and instruct others wisely. What he had written in 4:11-13 might have led Timothy to understand his mentor to mean that he needed to resort to harsh and overbearing action. Consequently Paul hastened to explain that Timothy should not be abusive in prescribing and teaching these things. This brief section is transitional connecting with 4:11-16 in form and concern and with 5:3-25 in content.
"As with an article of clothing, the church has its seams, created naturally by age differences, gender differences, economic differences and so on. These seams, where these various groups come together, often show visible signs of stress. It falls to the Christian leader to cross all these lines from time to time in order to minister effectively. But crossing these lines requires sensitivity and care."171
One of the greatest failings of people involved in pastoral work is their inability to relate to and work with others effectively. This failure is often traceable to the pastor's attitude toward others, how he views them. Paul wisely prefaced his specific instructions concerning how to deal with certain leadership needs with fundamental principles designed to facilitate interpersonal relationships.
In short, Timothy was to relate to everyone in the church as if they were the members of his own family. Paul had already taught that the local church is a "household"(3:15). Therefore believers, and especially a leader of the church, should treat other Christians accordingly.
Specifically we should deal with older men respectfully and appeal to them gently rather than rebuking them harshly. Their chronological age regardless of their spiritual age is reason enough to approach them humbly rather than arrogantly. Of course, we might eventually have to rebuke and even exclude from the fellowship any person who is destroying the church by teaching false doctrine, for example. However even in those cases we should approach older men first and patiently as fathers.
We can deal with younger men more directly but always as brothers. The pastor should regard younger men not as inferior or superior to himself but as equals. In Timothy's case these men were his contemporaries. Even an elderly man should think of younger Christian men as his brothers giving them the dignity of equals rather than looking down on them as inferiors.
We should think of and treat the older women in the congregation as we would our own mothers. This implies giving them special consideration in view of their age and experience. Some pastors tend to neglect the older women because they have difficulty identifying with them or because they do not appear to be the more productive members of the congregation. This practice differs from the one Paul urged Timothy to adopt.
We should regard the younger women as sisters in the Lord and treat them with the purity one would grant his physical sister. Perhaps because it is a temptation for some pastors to love their spiritual sisters too much Paul added "with all purity"(v. 2). If a pastor determines to relate to the younger women in his congregation as sisters, he will not do anything to or with them that would harm them in any way.
Throughout his epistles Paul urged his readers to adopt certain attitudes toward God (to think of Him as Father, Lord, Savior, etc.) and themselves (as saints, ambassadors, sons of God, etc.). These attitudes were crucial for them to hold so they might live properly. The way we think determines how we behave. Here (vv. 1-2) he taught a particular view toward others in the local church that is essential to success in interpersonal relationships especially as pastors.
