Now in all Israel everyone acknowledged that there was no man as handsome as Absalom. ¹  From the sole of his feet to the top of his head he was perfect in appearance. ² 

So Hanun seized David’s servants and shaved off half of each one’s beard. He cut the lower part of their robes off so that their buttocks were exposed, ¹  and then sent them away.

Absalom would then say, “If only they would make me ¹  a judge in the land! Then everyone who had a judicial complaint ²  could come to me and I would make sure he receives a just settlement.”

This is what the Lord says: ‘I am about to bring disaster on you ¹  from inside your own household! ²  Right before your eyes I will take your wives and hand them over to your companion. ³  He will have sexual relations with ⁴  your wives in broad daylight! ⁵ 

She replied, “In that case, ¹  let the king invoke the name of ²  the Lord your God so that the avenger of blood may not kill! Then they will not destroy my son!” He replied, “As surely as the Lord lives, not a single hair of your son’s head ³  will fall to the ground.”

So David said to all his servants who were with him in Jerusalem, ¹  “Come on! ²  Let’s escape! ³  Otherwise no one will be delivered from Absalom! Go immediately, or else he will quickly overtake us and bring ⁴  disaster on us and kill the city’s residents with the sword.” ⁵ 

Who struck down Abimelech the son of Jerub-Besheth? Didn’t a woman throw an upper millstone ¹  down on him from the wall so that he died in Thebez? Why did you go so close to the wall?’ just say to him, ‘Your servant Uriah the Hittite is also dead.’”

Ahithophel replied to Absalom, “Have sex with ¹  your father’s concubines whom he left to care for the palace. All Israel will hear that you have made yourself repulsive to your father. Then your followers will be motivated to support you.” ² 

Now a wicked man ¹  named Sheba son of Bicri, a Benjaminite, ²  happened to be there. He blew the trumpet ³  and said, “We have no share in David; we have no inheritance in this son of Jesse! Every man go home, ⁴  O Israel!”

Abner said to David, “Let me leave so that I may go and gather all Israel to my lord the king so that they may make an agreement ¹  with you. Then you will rule over all that you desire.” So David sent Abner away, and he left in peace.

Ziba said to the king, “Your servant will do everything that my lord the king has instructed his servant to do.” So Mephibosheth was a regular guest ¹  at David’s table, ²  just as though he were one of the king’s sons.

Surely when wicked men have killed an innocent man as he slept ¹  in his own house, should I not now require his blood from your hands and remove ²  you from the earth?”

Araunah told David, “My lord the king may take whatever he wishes ¹  and offer it. Look! Here are oxen for burnt offerings, and threshing sledges ²  and harnesses ³  for wood.

He said to the king, “Don’t think badly of me, my lord, and don’t recall the sin of your servant on the day when you, my lord the king, left ¹  Jerusalem! ²  Please don’t call it to mind!

The king said, “Did Joab put you up to all of this?” ¹  The woman answered, “As surely as you live, my lord the king, there is no deviation to the right or to the left from all that my lord the king has said. For your servant Joab gave me instructions. He has put all these words in your servant’s mouth.

So Joab sent to Tekoa and brought from there a wise woman. He told her, “Pretend to be in mourning ¹  and put on garments for mourning. Don’t anoint yourself with oil. Instead, act like a woman who has been mourning for the dead for some time. ² 

Hushai went on to say, “You know your father and his men – they are soldiers and are as dangerous as a bear out in the wild that has been robbed of her cubs. ¹  Your father is an experienced soldier; he will not stay overnight with the army.

So Joab visited ¹  the king at his home. He said, “Today you have embarrassed all your servants who have saved your life this day, as well as the lives of your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your concubines.

David was told, ¹  “The Lord has blessed the family of Obed-Edom and everything he owns because of the ark of God.” So David went and joyfully brought the ark of God from the house of Obed-Edom to the City of David.

Now the entire family has risen up against your servant, saying, ‘Turn over the one who struck down his brother, so that we can execute him and avenge the death ¹  of his brother whom he killed. In so doing we will also destroy the heir.’ They want to extinguish my remaining coal, ²  leaving no one on the face of the earth to carry on the name of my husband.”