But David said, “What do we have in common, ¹  you sons of Zeruiah? You are like my enemy today! Should anyone be put to death in Israel today? Don’t you realize that today I am king over Israel?”

Then all the men of Israel began coming to the king. They asked the king, “Why did our brothers, the men of Judah, sneak the king away and help the king and his household cross the Jordan – and not only him but all of David’s men as well?”

All the men of Judah replied to the men of Israel, “Because the king is our close relative! Why are you so upset about this? Have we eaten at the king’s expense? ¹  Or have we misappropriated anything for our own use?”

Now a wicked man ¹  named Sheba son of Bicri, a Benjaminite, ²  happened to be there. He blew the trumpet ³  and said, “We have no share in David; we have no inheritance in this son of Jesse! Every man go home, ⁴  O Israel!”

But Abishai the son of Zeruiah came to David’s aid, striking the Philistine down and killing him. Then David’s men took an oath saying, “You will not go out to battle with us again! You must not extinguish the lamp of Israel!”

Next in command ¹  was Eleazar son of Dodo, ²  the son of Ahohi. He was one of the three warriors who were with David when they defied the Philistines who were assembled there for battle. When the men of Israel retreated, ³ 

The king told Joab, the general in command of his army, “Go through all the tribes of Israel from Dan to Beer Sheba and muster the army, so I may know the size of the army.”

But the king’s edict stood, despite the objections of ¹  Joab and the leaders of the army. So Joab and the leaders of the army left the king’s presence in order to muster the Israelite army.

Joab reported the number of warriors ¹  to the king. In Israel there were 800,000 sword-wielding warriors, and in Judah there were 500,000 soldiers.

Now Absalom used to get up early and stand beside the road that led to the city gate. Whenever anyone came by who had a complaint to bring to the king for arbitration, Absalom would call out to him, “What city are you from?” The person would answer, “I, your servant, ¹  am from one of the tribes of Israel.”

Then King David sent a message to Zadok and Abiathar the priests saying, “Tell the elders of Judah, ‘Why should you delay any further in bringing the king back to his palace, ¹  when everything Israel is saying has come to the king’s attention. ²