Now King David heard about all these things and was very angry. ¹ 

The men of Israel replied to the men of Judah, “We have ten shares in the king, and we have a greater claim on David than you do! Why do you want ¹  to curse us? Weren’t we the first to suggest bringing back our king?” But the comments of the men of Judah were more severe than those of the men of Israel.

But evil people are like thorns – all of them are tossed away, for they cannot be held in the hand.

The Gibeonites said to him, “We ¹  have no claim to silver or gold from Saul or from his family, ²  nor would we be justified in putting to death anyone in Israel.” David asked, ³  “What then are you asking me to do for you?”

It seems like you arrived just yesterday. Today should I make you wander around by going with us? I go where I must go. But as for you, go back and take your men ¹  with you. May genuine loyal love ²  protect ³  you!”

The Philistines ¹  abandoned their idols ²  there, and David and his men picked them up.

So David said to all his servants who were with him in Jerusalem, ¹  “Come on! ²  Let’s escape! ³  Otherwise no one will be delivered from Absalom! Go immediately, or else he will quickly overtake us and bring ⁴  disaster on us and kill the city’s residents with the sword.” ⁵ 

I am presently eighty years old. Am I able to discern good and bad? Can I ¹  taste what I eat and drink? Am I still able to hear the voices of male and female singers? Why should I ²  continue to be a burden to my lord the king?

I gave you your master’s house, and put your master’s wives into your arms. ¹  I also gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if all that somehow seems insignificant, I would have given you so much more as well!

Now in all Israel everyone acknowledged that there was no man as handsome as Absalom. ¹  From the sole of his feet to the top of his head he was perfect in appearance. ² 

Then Joab blew the ram’s horn and all the people stopped in their tracks. ¹  They stopped chasing Israel and ceased fighting. ² 

Mephibosheth was living in Jerusalem, ¹  for he was a regular guest at the king’s table. But both his feet were crippled.

But Absalom said nothing to Amnon, either bad or good, yet Absalom hated Amnon because he had humiliated his sister Tamar.

So Zadok and Abiathar took the ark of God back to Jerusalem and remained there.

You prove to be reliable ¹  to one who is blameless, but you prove to be deceptive ²  to one who is perverse. ³ 

But Asahel ¹  refused to turn aside. So Abner struck him in the abdomen with the back end of his ²  spear. The spear came out his back; Asahel ³  collapsed on the spot and died there right before Abner. ⁴  Everyone who now comes to the place where Asahel fell dead pauses in respect. ⁵ 

May his blood whirl over ¹  the head of Joab and the entire house of his father! ²  May the males of Joab’s house ³  never cease to have ⁴  someone with a running sore or a skin disease or one who works at the spindle ⁵  or one who falls by the sword or one who lacks food!”

Abner and his men went through the Arabah all that night. They crossed the Jordan River ¹  and went through the whole region of Bitron ²  and came to Mahanaim.

Now Joab returned from chasing Abner and assembled all the people. Nineteen of David’s soldiers were missing, in addition to Asahel.

namely, to transfer the kingdom from the house of Saul and to establish the throne of David over Israel and over Judah all the way from Dan to Beer Sheba!”