How to Know You’re Getting Older

• Everything hurts! and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work!
• You feel like the night before, and you haven’t been anywhere!
• You sit in a rocking chair and you can’t get it going!
• Your knees buckle and your belt won’t!
• Dialing long distance wears you out!
• Your fortune teller offers to read your face!
• The little gray haired lady you help across the street is your wife!
• You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there!
• You wake up in the morning and your water bed has sprung a leak, and you realize you don’t have a water bed!
• When you watch a pretty girl go by, your pace-maker makes the garage door go up!
• When you know all the answers, and no one asks you the questions!
• When you decide to procrastinate, but never get around to it!

Strengthening Our Grip, C. Swindoll, p. 128