Topic : Grandparents

After Christmas vacation, a teacher asked her small pupils to write an account of how they spent their holidays. One youngster wrote about a visit to his grandparents in a life-care community for retired folks:

“We always spend Christmas with Grandma and Grandpa,” he said. They used to live here in a big red house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida.

“They live in a place with a lot of retarded people. They live in tin huts. They ride big three wheel tricycles. They go to a big building they call a wrecked hall but it is fixed now. They play games there and do exercises, but they don’t do them very good. There is a swimming pool and they go to it and just stand there in the water with their hats on. I guess they don’t know how to swim.

“My grandma used to bake cookies and stuff. But I guess she forgot how. Nobody cooks—they all go out to fast food restaurants.

“As you come into the park, there is a doll house with a man sitting in it. He watches all day, so they can’t get out without him seeing them. They wear badges with their names on them. I guess they don’t know who they are.

“My Grandpa and Grandma worked hard all their lives and earned their retardment. I wish they would move back home but I guess the man in the doll house won’t let them out.”

Eric W. Johnson, Humorous Stories About the Human Condition (Prometheus Books), quoted in Bits & Pieces, January 5, 1995, pp. 5-6

A grandpa is a lot like a dad
Except he always spoils you
And never spanks you.
He has whiter hair than a dad,
But not as much of it.

A grandpa asks me questions
About me.
He wants to know
What other people don’t even care about,
And what makes me such a good boy.

A grandpa likes to say yes
And hates to say no.
When I’m with Grandpa,
I’m the most important person
In the world.

A king or prince
Would not get more of Grandpa’s attention
Than I do.
When I go to bed at night,
I know that Grandpa prays for me.

I’m glad you’re my grandpa.
There’s no one quite like you
In all the world.
Thanks, Grandpa,
for being my grandpa.

Source unknown

A grandma is a lot like a mom,
Except her lap is a little softer
And maybe—
there’s a little more of it.

She always has a cookie for me
In her cookie jar,
And a quarter for me
In her purse.

Grandma likes to sing to me
And read to me,
Almost as much as she
Likes to play with me.

When I have breakfast
At Grandma’s house,
She always asks me,
“What would you like to eat?”
And that’s what we eat!

Grandma likes to shop with me
And I like to shop with her
Because she almost always
Buys me something I want.

My mother says
Grandma spoils me.
But I think she just loves me.

When I go to bed at night,
I know that Grandma prays for me.
I’m glad you’re my grandma.

There’s no one quite like you
In all the world.
Thanks, Grandma,
for being my grandma.

Source unknown

Now there’s evidence based on interviews with children and grandparents that children need their grandparents and vice-versa. The study shows that the bond between grandparents and grandchildren is second in emotional power and influence only to the relationship between parents and children. Grandparents affect the lives of their grandchildren, for good or ill, simply because they exist. Unfortunately, a lot of grandparents ignore the fact, to the emotional deprivation of the young.

Of the children studied, only five percent reported close, regular contact with at least one grandparent. The vast majority see their grandparents only infrequently, not because they live too far away, but because the grandparents have chosen to remain emotionally distant. These children appear to be hurt, angry, and very perceptive about their grandparents. One of them said, “I’m just a charm on grandma’s bracelet.”

Positive roles that grandparents play are caretaker, storyteller, family historian, mentor, wizard, confidant, negotiator between child and parent, and model for the child’s own old age. When a child has a strong emotional tie to a grandparent, he enjoys a kind of immunity—he doesn’t have to perform for grandparents the way he must for his parents, peers and teacher. The love of grandparents comes with no behavioral strings attached. The emotional conflicts that often occur naturally between children and parents do not exist between grandparents and grandchildren.

Youthletter, September, 1981

An 8-year-old wrote,

“A grandmother is a lady who has no children of her own, so she likes other people’s boys and girls. Grandmas don’t have anything to do except be there. If they take us for walks, they slow down past pretty leaves and caterpillars. They never say ‘Hurry up.’ Usually they are fat but not too fat to tie shoes. They wear glasses, and sometimes they can take their teeth out. They can answer questions like why dogs hate cats and why God isn’t married. They don’t talk like visitors do which is hard to understand. When they read to us, they don’t skip words or mind if it is the same story again. Everybody should try to have a grandma, especially if you don’t have television, because grandmas are the only grownups who always have time.”

Source unknown

Grandma, on a winter's day, milked the cows and fed them hay, hitched the mule, drove kids to school...did a washing, mopped the floors, washed the windows and did some chores...Cooked a dish of home-dried fruit, pressed her husband's Sunday suit...swept the parlor, made the bed, baked a dozen loaves of bread...split some firewood and lugged it in, enough to fill the kitchen bin...Cleaned the lamps and put in oil, stewed some apples before they spoiled...churned the butter, baked a cake, then exclaimed, "For goodness sake!" when the calves ran from the pen, and chased them all back in again...Gathered eggs and locked the stable, back to the house and set the table...cooked a supper that was delicious, then washed and dried all dirty dishes...fed the cat and sprinkled clothes, mended a basketful of hose...then opened the organ and began to play: "When You Come to the End of a Perfect Day...?

Reminisce, premiere issue, 1991, pp. 46-7