Topic : Boasting
Gas Mileage
According to a story in the Grand Rapids Press, the owner of a small foreign car had begun to irritate his friends by bragging incessantly about his gas mileage. So they decided on a way to get some humor out of his tireless boasting, as well as bring it to an end. Every day one of them would sneak into the parking lot where the man kept his car and pour a few gallons of gas into the tank. Soon the braggart was recording absolutely phenomenal mileage. He was boasting of getting as much as 90 miles per gallon, and the pranksters took secret delight in his exasperation as he tried to convince people of the truthfulness of his claims. It was even more fun to watch his reaction when they stopped refilling the tank. The poor fellow couldn’t figure out what had happened to his car.
Sightseeing Tour
A sightseeing bus was making the rounds through Washington, D. C., and the driver was pointing out spots of interest. As they passed the Pentagon building, he mentioned that it cost taxpayers millions of dollars and that it took a year and a half to build. While everyone was looking at it, a little old woman piped up:
“In Peoria we could have built the same building for less, and it would have been completed even sooner than that!”
The next sight on the tour was the Justice Department building. Once again the bus driver said that it cost so many millions to build and took almost two years to complete.
The woman repeated: “In Peoria we would have done it for less money, and it would have been finished much sooner.”
The tour finally came to the Washington Monument, and the driver just passed slowly by without saying a word.
The old woman was curious. “Hey,” she shouted to the driver, “what’s that tall white building back there?”
The driver looked out the window, waited a minute and then said, “Search me, lady. It wasn’t there yesterday.”
A doctor, an engineer, and a politician
A doctor, an engineer, and a politician were arguing as to which profession was older. "Well," argued the doctor, "without a physician mankind could not have survived, so I am sure that mine is the oldest profession." "No," said the engineer, "before life began there was complete chaos, and it took an engineer to create some semblance of order from this chaos. So engineering is older." "But," chirped the triumphant politician, "who created the chaos?"
