Blarney Stone
Common Complaints of Spouses
Vow of Silence
Oneliners
Topic : Complaining
Those Who Complain First
A heavy wagon was being dragged along a country lane by a team of oxen. The axles groaned and creaked terribly, when the oxen turning around thus addressed the wheels, “Hey there, why do you make so much noise? We bear all the labor, and we—not you—ought to cry out!” Those complain first in our churches who have the least to do. The gift of grumbling is largely dispensed among those who have no other talents, or who keep what they have wrapped up in a napkin.
Blarney Stone
A guide at Blarney Castle in Ireland was explaining to some visitors that his job was not always as pleasant as it seemed. He told them about a group of disgruntled tourists he had taken to the castle earlier in the week.
“These people were complaining about everything,” he said. “They didn’t like the weather, the food, their hotel accommodations, the prices, everything. Then to top it off, when we arrived at the castle, we found that the area around the Blarney Stone was roped off. Workmen were making some kind of repairs.”
“This is the last straw!” exclaimed one lady who seemed to be the chief faultfinder in the group. “I’ve come all this way, and now I can’t even kiss the Blarney Stone.”
“Well, you know,” the guide said, “according to legend, if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, it’s the same as kissing the stone itself.”
“And I suppose you’ve kissed the stone,” said the exasperated lady.
“Better than that. replied the guide. “I’ve sat on it.”
Common Complaints of Spouses
Dr. Robert Travis, co-director of Marital and Health Studies at the Univ. of Alabama, lists the most common complaints of husbands and wives:
- WIVES: He doesn’t listen to me, He takes me for granted, He’s not romantic, He doesn’t help much with the children.
- HUSBANDS: She doesn’t understand that I need time by myself, She nags about little things, She expects too much emotionally, She complains that I spend too much time at work.
Vow of Silence
A monk joined a monastery and took a vow of silence. After the first 10 years his superior called him in and asked, “Do you have anything to say?”
The monk replied, “Food bad.”
After another 10 years the monk again had opportunity to voice his thoughts.
He said, “Bed hard.”
Another 10 years went by and again he was called in before his superior. When asked if he had anything to say, he responded, “I quit.”
“It doesn’t surprise me a bit. You’ve done nothing but complain ever since you got here.”
Oneliners
- You will find that, as a rule, those who complain about the way the ball bounces are usually the ones who dropped it.
- Air travel has great advantages, but have you ever had to sit in a bus three hours while it circled around the depot'
- It’s not very encouraging to know your bank deposits are protected by an agency of a federal government that’s $1.6 trillion in debt.
