Topic : Ignorant

Ignorant Aunt

Shortly after the 1912 presidential election, Woodrow Wilson visited an aged aunt whom he hadn’t seen for a long time. “What are you doing these days, Woodrow?” she asked. “I’ve just been elected president,” replied Wilson.”Oh, yes? President of what?” inquired the aunt. “Of the United States.” “Don’t be silly!” she snorted impatiently.

Today in the Word, March 7, 1993

Wrong Ball

Professional golfer Tommy Bolt was playing in Los Angeles and had a caddy with a reputation of constant chatter. Before they teed off, Bolt told him, “Don’t say a word to me. And if I ask you something, just answer yes or no.”

During the round, Bolt found the ball next to a tree, where he had to hit under a branch, over a lake and onto the green. He got down on his knees and looked through the trees and sized up the shot.

“What do you think?” he asked the caddy. “Five-iron?”

“No, Mr. Bolt,” the caddy said.

“What do you mean, not a five-iron?” Bolt snorted.

“Watch this shot.”

The caddy rolled his eyes. “No-o-o, Mr. Bolt.”

But Bolt hit it and the ball stopped about two feet from the hole. He turned to his caddy, handed him the five-iron and said, “Now what do you think about that? You can talk now.”

“Mr. Bolt,” the caddy said, “that wasn’t your ball.”

Crossroads, Issue No. 7, pp. 15-16

Times Square

While touring America, the English author, G.K. Chesterton, was taken by several enthusiastic New Yorkers to see Times Square at night.

Chesterton, after a moment’s silent gazing at the millions of electric lights, turned to his friends and remarked, “How beautiful it would be for someone who could not read.”

Bits & Pieces, November 12, 1992 p. 15

Reading Books

Larry Wolwode, quoted in Youthworker Update, Signs of the Times, October, 1992, p. 6.

Lost in the Desert

There was a man lost in the desert. He couldn’t find his tent. Finally he stumbled upon it, went inside and closed the flap. He shook out his clothes and lit a lamp. He looked for some food. The only thing that he could find was a box of dates. The first one was bad—full of worms. So he threw it in the corner. The second was the same. So he finally blew out the lamp and ate the dates!

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